A Secret Letter To My Pillow!
“ What an eventful day it was !”, I murmur to myself, thinking about all the happenings of the day. Well, my brother was married and you can not expect a brown household to be mellow about it. It was chaotic but fun. My hurting legs reminded me to not wear the heels that just look good but do not feel comfortable when I have to rush around here and there .
My room is filled with hushed silence broken occasionally by distant sounds of some laughter that is probably coming from my siblings room. If I am up till 3 am that means we are having a good talking session again. You might be wondering who is we. Well , its my pillow and I.
My favourite bolster pillow. Its structure , its material, the warmth and fuzziness it provides. It’s the feeling of being home to me. I am either too emotional or excited . Or horny. It varies. Here is that big, fat bolster pillow.
Today it was a mix of emotions. The gratitude dominated my feelings. You know that feeling where you say to yourself, “ Everything works out for me. I am never alone. I am strong enough to face anything and everything”. Since I felt it so often, it was added to my list of affirmations.
I turn to my pillow and cradle it softly. I sniffed the homely fragrance of lavender. I like how you smell ! And how you feel ! My plush companion is in my arms now. My fingers trace and absent pattern on its case as I gaze up at the warm white lighted ceiling lost in my thoughts. I feel the urge of pouring my heart out. I open the notes app on my phone and write the title – “A secret letter to my pillow”.
Dear supple, adorably dependable pillow,
I am back here to talk to you. Your beautiful and smart partner is all yours for the night. I feel so good, now. I was missing him badly. Why did he have to make me so wet for him ?! Yes ! I know I have to change your clothes tomorrow. Do not worry, I will give you a clean set. Will you get jealous if I tell you straddling him feels much better ? Haha ! Okay I will be serious now. I just realised how far we have come ! Do you ever think about it ? You must think about your cute little friend who shares all her secrets with you. I know she gets needy lots of times but hey ! that’s what friends are for. Duh! You have seen me on my happiest as well as the worst days. Remember that night after my break up from that classmate who I thought I would never let go off . I had caught him sneaking behind me. I was devastated and hugged you tight . Letting my guard down and crying my heart out. You took all my tears on yourself and gave me solace. You were my companion when I did not want to be around anybody. Whenever I had a bad day and would spent hours overthinking everything that had gone wrong and all the rude things that my close ones have said. to me. I used to lie down hugging you and asking why was I not good enough no matter what I did. Why was I the bad person suddenly even after being the most understanding and everyone’s go to person ? You did not utter a single word but let me speak. You absorbed the weight of my thoughts. I did feel better when you never left my side no matter how ugly things got. You never made me feel like I was a horrible person. You. allowed me to be vulnerable around you and speak my mind. It is so rare to search for it in this world. I am glad we have it.
You have been a source of pleasure when my body needed it . The slow building ecstasy . The feeling of being between my legs ! You remember when I came back to my room feeling all horny and needed to feel my body , you became my friend in need . I had hugged you tightly slowly moving one of my leg over your body so that my folds touch your body . You have the perfect shape and thickness . Wink wink . Your body felt absolutely divine giving me all the friction I ached for. I moaned as I held you in place and straddled you properly. That gave better access. I had grinded my body over yours moaning his name and touching myself. My hips moved rhythmically over your body. I did not care about my juices making you wet too. You played the role of my friend with benefit quite well . You know, I do not even remember when was the first time we ever did it . I never though I could bring myself to orgasm by riding you ! It happened accidentally . When it happened, I knew it was just the beginning . I will always remember that feeling . We have had so many steamy sessions like that . My sex toys make me feel good but it is something else with you . Then I also saw people on pornography doing it . I felt “ Okay , it is not just me . It is normal . It is just not discussed that openly till now”.
You even let me imagine you as my long distance boyfriend and hug you throughout the night and sleep peacefully . I suffocated you with my arms wrapped around you tightly but you never complained . Oh ! My sweet pillow . I am forever grateful for you . You did a great job being his substitute . With that voice of his on the calls and you in my embrace , I managed to be a strong person and stay miles apart from my lover boy.
How can I forget those busy days at college rushing around and getting all the work done . When I finally came back to my room you used to alleviate my discomfort and provide me a good sleep . You made sure that my physical well being was not compromised . Ever . Where did you learn to become such a good ally ? I hope we always share the same bond .
Not to miss the painful nights of menstrual cramps . You along with my warm water bag helped me relax . Resting under my thighs. you made sure I felt supported . How can I ever live without you ? I am thankful I had you whenever I wanted some peace and ease .
I even punched you when I was angry at someone . Punching a wall is not good right . I could hurt my hand. So , I let my frustration out on you. You kept being my friend even after all of that. I guess I made you strong . I did not give you any other choice too. You did the same for me. I felt relieved with you anyway. Also grateful that you do not punch back !
When my laughter echoed in the room you lied next to me and watched me being the most cheerful person . You never jinxed my happiness . You kept my secrets and let me be a complainer, a procrastinator and a lazy human too. I extend my gratitude for not being judgemental even when you had many reasons to be . You have stayed with me though thick and thin . You gave me a no judgement zone. To just be my authentic self . To let me express and exist. You are like my family now. My number one confidant. I am giving you a big warm hug now. I am truly thankful for you ! Lots of love to you my friend !
