Cheating – to forgive or not to forgive?
The age of digitisation has captured us all and it is here to stay. With this advancement, flings have become a replacement for long-term relationships. Naturally, with such easy accessibility of online applications and social media platforms, the tendency to cheat becomes irresistible and more and more cases of emotional as well as physical cheating are coming to life.The act of infidelity is not uncommon to both genders, males and females. It becomes daunting to understand why someone would choose to end a long-term relationship by cheating on their partner. People who get cheated on feel defeated in many ways in trying to understand why they were a part of infidelity.
However, have you ever given a thought to what would happen if you could forgive the person who cheated on you? If you forgive them, would you readily move on together or your separate ways?
Well, there is no one particular answer to this. It varies from person to person, their coping mechanisms and their ability to deal with harsh and emotionally tormenting situations.
Some may choose to forgive their partner, considering it a genuine mistake and some may not be able to cope up with the reality and decide to part ways for good.
Infidelity is never restricted to one particular reason. Some partners may decide to explore the ‘unseen’, while some may unintentionally cheat under the influence of alcohol.
Some partners may tell small lies to themselves such as ‘it does not mean anything’, ‘there is no harm in talking to him’ or ‘what can even happen over a cup of coffee’ without realizing that a lot can over a coffee and maybe you want something to happen over a cup of coffee.
Whatever be the reason, cheating should never be glorified. It should however also be realized that many people who cheat also seek genuine forgiveness on behalf of their actions. Not everyone who cheats does it on purpose or out of mere irresponsibility.
The anger and resentment a person who has been cheated on feels will only get better with offering some sort of a way out to the cheater. The poison that grows inside the person can only be taken out through forgiveness.
It’s crucial to note that forgiveness does not necessarily account for forgetting about the instance of cheating entirely but it will be a step towards betterment for the mental well being of both parties. Forgiving becomes important because of the trust factor that comes into play with it.
If you take the important step of forgiving someone for their cheating, you also take a step towards trusting them again. But it is also important to realise that a serial cheater will only gain control over your mind. So it becomes important to distinguish when to forgive and when not to forgive.
If you choose not to forgive, it may not harm you but it can at times become exhausting. The constant battle between what could this have been had I forgiven my ex for cheating, or the venom of anger that grows inside of you can only be put a stop to if you decide to either entirely cut cords with the person or take a step towards healing your relationship with them.
What becomes noteworthy is also the cheaters behaviour after the accept and own their mistakes. If they remain carefree and do not take any ownership and accountability of their actions, forgiving is worthless, because why forgive someone who makes no to little effort to remain in your life.
While if the cheater takes damage control and understands your anger towards them, it is a sign that they seek your forgiveness and value your presence in their lives.
The step towards feeling free of all the pain and discomfort lies in your hands, so consider the situation in all its pros and cons and take steps when necessary.
