Embrace Your Shadows
“Oh gosh!! Look at these marks and fat around the waist, this dress doesn’t look good on me. I look fat!!!”
“Dude, just brush it off…”
“Stop zooming those bikini-wearing models, I can see that in the mirror”
He chuckled and looked at me, “ hehe…You look good”, he said.
“Really, would you date a chubby girl? I asked him.”
“Yeah, I would.”
“But you never dated one like that?”
And he was struggling with words to spit out.
His reaction sent a wave of worry, about whether my date would find me beautiful. Even my friend who has been my companion for 10 years, fantasizes about ladies with flat bellies and curves. Being with him gave me an insight into some men as to how they see women and idolize one to have in life. As I strolled out the door, there was a hoarding with an image of a gorgeous lady with a flawless complexion and a great body with the slogan “Women are the most lovely creation of God.” Really? But does it have to be the ideal form to be the most attractive? Isn’t she gorgeous in all forms and sizes? Why didn’t it have a stout woman, an obese woman? After all, they are also women.
As soon as I turned away my gaze from the hoarding, I noticed a few adolescent ladies spitting on the insecurities that have been clawing at them like a vulture since their childhood, the art of being flawless and of a specific body type.
It wasn’t their fault either, after all, since time immemorial, the mind has been programmed to appear like the aesthetic standards set by society conventions, and if you don’t obtain the tick marks on those checklists, you are labeled “UGLY.”
Women frequently find themselves trying for an impossible ideal of flawless skin, figure, and beauty in a society strongly impacted by media and cultural expectations. This relentless desire for perfection has resulted in widespread fear among women, particularly over issues such as skin tone, but not just of the body which is seen out even the genitals, stretch marks, acne, body figure, and whatnot.
A strong sense of body dissatisfaction can have a substantial influence on a person’s sense of value and self-love. Sometimes saying it as a joke may have a deep impact on the mind, that you may not notice and at some point, it may burst out as anxiety and low self-esteem. The negative consequences of idolizing unattainable beauty standards prevent individuals from accepting themselves.
Once I was having a conversation with my girl group, and we were discussing our life and relationship when one of them said, “I happened to see myself in the mirror and when I looked at my body, I felt insecure to have sex with my partner. My genitals were so pigmented, my underarms, and my limbs were hairy, I couldn’t bear that reflection. How flawless are the bodies of women in movies?”
Women around us frequently express how uneasy they feel and might have encountered situations where they find themselves in a dilemma during sex. Be it the shape of the body, pigmentation, size of breast to size of nipples, and shapes of vulvas and colors, they find it difficult to open up and own and love what they have.
Movies have a tremendous impact on how society perceives beauty. The relentless barrage of ‘perfect’ women on the big screen can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-comparison. The media has always portrayed women as having smooth, blemish-free skin and gorgeous bodies. This false portrayal establishes impossible standards, leading many women to be self-conscious about their natural looks.
“I want to go down on you,” says the partner, and the first and foremost thing a woman responds to is “No…I’m not clean out there, it’s hairy”, but have you ever heard this from a man? Owning your own body has always been a frightening idea for women, not just with partners, but even when seeing a gynecologist, their first and main worry is that their genitals are not presentable.
Societal expectations have traditionally required women to have hairless genitals and bodies, causing considerable agony and insecurity for those who do not conform. It is critical to understand that body hair is normal and differs from person to person. Acceptance and respect for individual preferences may be fostered by normalizing body hair and advocating for personal grooming choices.
The human body is like nature itself, every mark, every acne, and every spot is evidence of healing. Stretch marks on your body are a normal aspect of a person’s growth and metamorphosis. By recognizing stretch marks, scars, discolorations, blotches, etc, as a beautiful tribute to life’s journey and accepting them as a symbol of strength, we may inspire women to be proud of their bodies’ resilience.
It is critical to promote self-love and self-care to break free from the cycle of insecurity. Mindfulness, positive affirmations, and a focus on inner traits can all help women develop a healthy self-image that goes beyond beauty.
A woman is indeed a wonderful creature on earth, and she comes in many shapes and sizes. That beautiful critter might be curved, thin, flabby, plump, short, tall, flat, huge, little, or everything in between…
We can create a more inclusive and inspiring environment for women of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds if we embrace body positivity and challenge existing beauty stereotypes. Acknowledging beauty as a construct can aid women in breaking away from these injunctions and commemorating their individuality.
Rigid beauty standards that engender uneasiness and self-doubt should not be imposed on women. Accepting flaws, such as hairy genitals and stretch marks, is critical for promoting self-acceptance and encouraging women to genuinely love themselves. Let us question cultural conventions, praise different beauty, and reimagine what it means to be beautiful on the inside and out. We can pave the road for a more inclusive and empowered environment for all women by doing so.
