How To Not Get Ghosted!
Ghosting is when one person abruptly stops talking to another, usually without giving a reason. It can be really tough and upsetting to be ghosted because it leaves you wondering why the other person disappeared without any explanation.
When someone ghosts you, two things are happening:
They’re choosing to end the interaction with you, at least for the time being, which is a form of rejection.
They’re deciding not to explain their decision to you.
It’s impossible to completely avoid rejection. That’s just part of life.
Dating nowadays can be tough. Many people believe it’s easier to ghost someone than to have a conversation about not wanting to continue whatever relationship or interaction they have. There are several reasons why this has become common.
In the past, being dumped via text was considered rude. But now, not only might you get dumped by text, but the other person might just stop texting you altogether without any explanation.
This has become the norm.
So, why do people choose to ghost someone? Here are six reasons, and what you can do to deal with them:
- They’re worried about how you’ll react to rejection:
One reason why someone might ghost is because they no longer feel safe in the situation. This could happen if a personal boundary has been crossed, making them uncomfortable and worried about things escalating. Instead of risking confrontation, they might choose to cut off contact altogether.
My advice is not to bombard someone with messages if they stop responding. Avoid sending multiple texts asking why they’re not replying. If it seems like they’re taking a break from talking to you, respect that. They might come back later, or you might come up with a better conversation starter. Obsessing over their lack of response will only make things worse.
Also, don’t pursue them relentlessly. Pressuring someone into responding is considered harassment, even if you’re polite about it. Don’t put unnecessary stress on yourself or them. Whether or not they show interest is entirely up to them. If they don’t respond, move on and talk to other people. If you’re not already doing that, you’re wasting your time.
Remember, be hungry, but never thirsty
2. They’re stonewalling you
Another reason someone might ghost you is out of a desire for revenge. This could stem from past issues, like a previous relationship, jealousy, or cheating, which can lead to bitter feelings. Alternatively, it might be a petty act of revenge for some perceived slight. This behavior is toxic and often occurs when someone isn’t emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship and communicate their feelings properly.
If you’re stood up or ghosted, it shouldn’t affect your confidence. It’s a common occurrence, especially in online dating. Most of the time, it’s because the other person lacks good communication skills or is overly insecure. Many people flake after dates to avoid having an awkward conversation. Ultimately, those who resort to ghosting aren’t worth your time. They’ll likely continue to have toxic relationships until they learn how to communicate effectively, show basic respect to others, and take responsibility for their actions.
3. They have intimacy or commitment issues
People who fear intimacy might ghost others as a way to protect themselves. When someone has this fear, they struggle to get too close to others due to worries about commitment or abandonment. These fears are often deeply rooted and develop in early childhood, and take a lot of self-reflection and personal work to get over. Some people just haven’t done that personal work yet. These fears can lead to stress and anxiety in situations where they feel uncomfortable. Everyone copes with fear differently, with some people being okay with certain levels of intimacy but avoiding others.
Ghosting says more about the person who does it than the one who’s ghosted. Even though it’s not right, it’s easy to get why someone might do it if you think about it in this way. Still, it shows you something important about them, so it’s best to just move on and focus on what’s ahead. After all – they’re giving you a preview of what their communication and problem solving skills will be like in a relationship. And you wouldn’t want to deal with drama like that anyway, right?
It’s also important to appreciate yourself and recognize that the person who ghosted you missed out on getting to know you. Their loss, not yours. So, shrug it off and continue on your own path happily.
4. It’s their way of letting you down gently
Ending a new relationship can be tough, especially if you’re the one doing the breaking up. Conversations about it can be awkward, and sometimes things just don’t click in casual relationships or dates. Some people find it easier to avoid an official breakup to save face, especially if the relationship is casual.
It might be tough to accept, but sometimes, the other person just isn’t that interested. They might not care enough to respond, and it’s important not to get too emotionally invested early on. Just as they don’t owe you anything, you don’t owe them anything either. Not every connection works out, and not getting a text back shouldn’t ruin your day. Focus on yourself and move forward.
Choosing dates that involve activities both parties enjoy can reduce the likelihood of being ghosted. When you plan dates based on shared interests, they’re more likely to go well and decrease the chances of being ignored afterward. Remember, this goes both ways. Stop focusing on what you can do to make them like you more, and focus on what you want from the connection.
5. They’re in a tough phase in life
When someone is dealing with major life changes like moving, losing someone, starting college or a new job, it can be really tough to balance everything, including a new relationship. Relationships require time and effort, and when someone is overwhelmed with other commitments like family, friends, work, and personal well-being, they may find it too much to handle. This could make them unable to commit to a relationship at that moment. However, even if this is the reason, it doesn’t excuse ghosting.
If you suspect this is happening, it’s best to move on. If they really wanted to make you a priority in their life, they would. Remember: being ghosted can serve as closure, signaling that it’s time to let go and move forward.
6. They’re afraid of confrontation
Lastly, some people may ghost others because they avoid confrontation. They might fear drama or backlash, so they opt for a peaceful exit. This fear of being honest about their feelings can lead them to ghost, even though it may hurt the other person. Ghosting can occur for various reasons, often influenced by personal issues or habitual behaviors.
Trying too hard to entertain or seek validation from the other person can put unnecessary pressure on both parties. It’s important to engage with the person as an equal rather than putting them on a pedestal.
Conclusion
If you’ve been hurt by being ghosted before, it’s perfectly normal to feel the pain. In today’s fast-paced, social media-focused world, ghosting has become more common than ever. While we can’t completely prevent flaking or ghosting, we can control how we respond to it. It’s important to acknowledge the hurt, but also to realize that the right person for you won’t resort to ghosting. There are plenty of other people out there, and it’s best to move on and keep looking. Remember, you’re strong enough to overcome this setback and find someone who values you.
