Infidelity or reconciliation of a lost love?
(Is Adultery always an end of the commitment?)
One simple act of wrongdoing can destroy the strongest of the relationships; An affair. But, is an affair really a worthy enough reason to call it quits? One reason can shatter an emotional bond built over years. Why does this act of ‘betray,’ as they call it, ends everything? Why does it overpower love?
Kartik and Anushriya found themselves clung in this same emotional dilemma. Kartik – A sailor, was always on his foot for his job, one place to another in every five to six months. While Anushriya – a civil services aspirant, led a life that demanded a routine and the same grinding every day. Kartik and Anushriya were high-school sweethearts, they grew up together blossomed their love through travelling. But, the distance wreaked havoc on their relationship. Anushriya developed insecurities and feared abandonment from Karthik. These baseless insecurities led to major misunderstandings between them, which compelled Anushriya to find comfort in someone else’s presence. She went on to have an affair with a friend of hers. Kartik was shattered after finding the same! What do you think happened after that? Did Kartik call it quits? Or Did he decide to give his love another chance?. You shouldn’t miss this story to know how this story ended.
Infidelity is not a very clearly defined act. It is understood and contemplated differently among couples and partners in relationships. For instance, it may be a one-night stand, an emotional connection without physical pursuit, online romance, paid sex, or just a spa. Every couple has a different understanding of commitment and infidelity and each of them have their own expectations. The old school textbook definition of monogamy finds different meanings in the current context. It doesn’t always mean one person for life, it has come down to one person at a time. Some even claim. ‘I have been monogamous in all my relationships!!’
The reasons behind the urge to cheat amongst even the happiest couples are still a question. Everyone tries hard to make sense of why men and women cheat in a relationship. Why do most people assume that men cheat due to lack of enthusiasm and fright of intimacy and women cheat out of fear of abandonment and hunger for intimacy? , and does adultery become one of the fundamental reasons behind the end of a relationship?. If not, then why did it hurt. Kartik so much when he found out about Anushriya’s emotional intimacy with someone else other than him?
Kartik just like most people in this world developed a romantic ideal in which he turned to one person; Anushriya, to accomplish the endless list of needs. To be his greatest love, his best friend, his trusted confidant, his spiritual companion and his intellectual self. Kartik concluded that he was the chosen one, he was indispensable and irreplaceable. Infidelity told him he is not. That was his actual betrayal. Infidelity broke this ambition of his love. Is this romantic textbook love ideal universal?
We have now started giving more priority to our fulfilment; which we think is well deserved. We thrive on entitlement. Sex in the west is a representation of our individuality, our self-discovery, and our liberation. This is one reason why so many people decide to finally walk down the aisle after years of sexual exploration. By the time we say our vows, we have dated, hooked up, and ended connections. Previously, people use to marry and have sex for the first time. Now, people get married and put an end to the cycle of sex nomadism. The conscious decision to hold back our sexual freedom becomes proof of our seriousness to our commitment. By turning all the possibilities of loving again, we confirm the authenticity of our “ The one ”, “ I have found the one”. “I can put a stop to my search now.” Our longing for others is supposed to naturally disappear in thin air. Vanquished by the force of one significant attraction.
On confrontation, a lot of people who committed adultery often confess that they felt alive in the act. Cheating is not about sex, it is about desire. Our longing for something that is dead in our relationships forces us to go astray and seek what has been missing for so long. Sometimes, we stay in that situation for a brief period and sometimes we learn that we were in the wrong place all this while.
Anushriya and Kartik’s distance left her lonely and with a desire for affection and intimacy. Instead of demanding it again and again from her lover, she found solace in an affair. Her audacity to turn her back to Kartik’s love was a force of uncherished desire running deep. In most cases, some affairs are the last nail in the coffin for relationships that are already dying but in some cases, they light up new possibilities of fresh love. A new chance at relationships and a broader look at what has been absent in a partnership and needs that should be on a priority list for a healthy commitment.
Infidelity can be a big force that breaks a relationship but, surprisingly sometimes even mends a broken relationship. The hurt ignites a fire for attaining the lost love and faith in a commitment. In Kartik’s case, his love for Anushriya was bigger than the betrayal he experienced. His understanding of the neglect and longing in their relationship made him realise Anushriya’s distress and the reasons behind the act of adultery she resorted to. They switched dinner dates with counselling sessions and worked on their relationship. The tides are at lows and highs in their love from time to time. But, they are flowing. After all, not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.
