Let’s Talk About Big ‘O’!
This is a very special day! Every year on 31st July, we celebrate World Orgasm Day, when we are given an opportunity to talk about… Oh God… Oh! Yes.. yes yes yes… YES… Aaaahhhhhhhhhh….
That’s right! Today we talk about matters concerning yours, mine and all of our Big ‘O’s.
Did you watch Meg Ryan faking an orgasm in a fully packed restaurant in When Harry met Sally and think, it’s so obviously fake, women don’t come with sufficient intensity to incite that kind of reaction. Or did you watch Kiara Advani get a mind blowing release to the tune of K3G bang in front of all husband and her in-laws in Lust Stories and think that it’s a bit too far fetched from reality. Well they are obviously actors in cinema performing in made up set-ups to entertain the masses, so they definitely don’t represent real-life experiences, but one thing they are not lying about is that women’s orgasm is not sufficiently understood.
Men’s orgasm is such a common occurrence, there’s hardly anything left to say about that matter, but even after centuries of struggle for female liberation, the feminine pinnacle of pleasure remains unliberated. Men gain sexual awareness much sooner than women, all thanks to their simpler anatomy; a bunch of neurons concentrated in one easy to access zone wins out against the complex anatomy of women, where the neurons are spread out all over our bodies. Add to that the differences in awareness, which makes half our population feel that sexual release can be as easy as walking. But the entire other half still think that their sexual release is a matter of privilege, to be enjoyed by a select few, such as those portrayed in movies. Do you see the disparity?
The whole matter boils down to one ridiculously simple explanation; that we just don’t talk about it enough. I mean, there is no lack of “educational material” available on the internet for those who seek the knowledge, but do we talk about it amongst ourselves? Is there still a stigma attached to admitting our ignorance about a matter media attaches so much superficial importance to, that we are forced into a solitary pursuit of the forbidden fruit? If yes, then is there any doubt why a lot of us are still seeking unsuccessfully?
Ask and you shall be answered.
Does it happen to all women?
Science hasn’t come up with a reliable enough answer to that. But there are countless women leading us by their example; they are those who previously believed that it wasn’t for them, when one day they tried something different and found it. Don’t believe me, just ask all the women around you. I guarantee you will find one or more unsung heroes to inspire you. So don’t immediately give up on yourself.
Is this something that can only happen to women who have sexual partners?
Absolutely not! Having a sexual partner does not guarantee orgasm. Although, a supportive and understanding partner can definitely increase your chances, and make the journey a bit smoother, but it does not mean that all women must follow that route. Because a lot of us really don’t need anyone other than ourselves. And isn’t that quite empowering?
Woman, love thyself!
In an ideal world, self-love or masturbation would be the first step every woman takes while venturing into sexual awareness. But in the real world, it is sadly reached much later, or sometimes even skipped out altogether. But think about it, if you don’t know your own body, how will your partner? Chances are, touching your private parts might feel strange at first and need some work before you actually start deriving pleasure from it. But keep at it ladies! The prize will be worth all the hard work. Climax achieved from masturbation can be a very emotionally fulfilling experience and will even boost your self-confidence.
OK, but what’s the process like?
Biologically speaking, the orgasm is achieved upon stimulating your clitoris sufficiently to help it reach climax. But that is too dry a process.
I recommend that before you stimulate your clitoris, you should stimulate your mind, which is the biggest sexual organ, and much tougher to stimulate. Get in the mood, by whichever way that works best on you. Talk dirty with your partner; or watch your favourite sex scene from the movies; or indulge in a bit of fantasing about your crush; or work on providing yourself the perfect ambience, lighting, music, champagne, whatever gets you going!
There are many erogenous zones in every woman’s body other than the clitoris. Touching yourself should comprise touching all of yourself, to figure out your erogenous zones. You can even take your partner’s help in this wonderful exploration. Have them use their fingers, lips, tongue or other stimulants like a feather or essential oils. I really enjoyed the love-making scene from 40 days and 40 nights, where the woman was stimulated through a branch of orchid flowers. Never have orchids been sexier. Do give it a watch!
For stimulating your clitoris, the fingers are the go to solution in most cases. But you do not have to be limited to them. Besides the stimulants mentioned above, you can also take the help of sex toys, including but not limited to vibrators, massagers and dildos. There are also plenty of sex-toys for couples available these days, which can spice up your sex-life and may open up another way for you to reach the top. Pun intended.
But how can it be achieved in penetrative sex?
For women to achieve orgasm through penetration, a lot of attention needs to be paid to make sure they are sufficiently aroused before the penetration itself, and are getting sufficiently stimulated during the act.
Also, though penetration is important, it should only be the last step in your sexual encounter. Foreplays are often ignored but are really important, because a woman needs to be excited in more places of her body, than just her genitalia. Refer above to the chatter about stimulating your mind, before stimulating your body. Pleasure cannot be rushed. Allow yourself and your partner some time to cut away from everything else going on in your lives, and gradually immerse into each other. Kiss your partner, communicate what makes them so special to you, touch their erogenous zones and allow yourself to be touched. Sufficient stimulation through foreplay will help your body prepare better for penetration; it’ll help prolong your session; and it will definitely bring you closer to that elusive peak of pleasure.
Couples can try different positions during the session to work out the ones giving the best stimulation to the woman. A lot of unnecessary importance has come to be attached to the size of the male organ. While the fact is, size doesn’t matter at all when it comes to giving a girl the time of her life!
And lastly but not least-ly… Explore, explore, EXPLORE!!!
Sky’s the limit when it comes to the possibilities associated with a woman’s body. It’s our duty, our obligation by birth towards our body, to find out and provide it exactly what it needs to attain the maximum pleasure. Let us not permit our doubts, our false perceptions and our stigma to come in the way of our exploration, fellow voyagers! Always remember that the Creator made us all unique and special in our own way, and it’s only natural for our orgasms to be unique too.
Wishing all my ladies a big Aaaahhhhhhhhhh……..
Happy Orgasm Day!
