Long Story: First Time!
I sit cross-legged on my bed with the soft glow of my phone illuminating my face. The familiar buzz of a message notification sent a thrill through me.
I know it is him.
My fingers move across the phone screen, as the notification reveals his name.
“Hey, babe 😘” the message reads.
And with that my heart skips a beat as I type back.
“Hey, handsome ❤ ️” I reply.
“Miss me?” I ask.
“More than you know. 😉” His response comes, along with a winking emoji.
I can’t help but bite my lip, imagining his smile behind those words.
My mind races with images of him, his touch, his lips, his hands tracing the curves of my body. I feel a delicious warmth spreading through me as I type my next message.
“I wish you were here right now. I need you.” I confess.
The seconds stretch into eternity as I wait for his reply. My heart pounds in my chest.
And when finally his message appears, it is like a bolt of lightning, igniting every nerve ending in my body.
“I wish I was there too. I’d kiss you until you couldn’t think straight. 😙” He says and with his words, a shiver runs down my spine.
I feel a surge of desire coursing through my whole body as I lean back against the pillows and soft head of my bed.
I imagine his lips on mine, and his hands roaming freely over my skin.
“What else would you do to me? Tell me. 😉” I ask with some boldness.
And a string of messages follows.
“I’d start by kissing you softly.
Then tracing the outline of your lips with mine,
Then I’d slowly explore every inch of your body, making you shiver with pleasure.”
My breath catches in my throat at his words.
“And then?”
“And then I’d tease you until you’re begging for more, until you can’t think of anything else but me. 😉”
My cheeks flushed with heat as I read his words and a delicious ache building between my thighs. I let out a soft moan, unable to contain the desire that was simmering beneath the surface.
“And?” I ask again.
“And then I would fuck you. 🤤🤭” He says, and my heart feels like it has forgotten to beat.
The electricity is jolting through the core of my body.
“Are you touching yourself?” he asks again, even before I can reply to his last message.
“Yes. 🤭” I admit.
“I can’t help it.” I add.
“Good,” he replies.
“I want you to imagine it’s me touching you, kissing you, driving you wild. 😚” He adds, and my fingers tremble at his response.
The desire to have him, and lose my Virginity to this man is intensifying every moment.
I close my eyes picturing him there with me, exploring every inch of my body.
The sensation is almost too much to bear as I let myself get lost in the fantasy.
Just to tease him, I click a picture of my boobs.
And I click send.
Fuck, is it getting too much?
Maybe not … the picture doesn’t have my face.
I question and answer myself.
“I drooled. 🤤 Did I just get blessed with a glimpse of heaven?” He replies.
“Glad you liked what you saw 😉”
“Liked? Oh honey, “liked” doesn’t even begin to cover it. You just blew my mind, and maybe another thing as well. 😏”
“Oh, is that so? I’ll take that as a compliment then. But no face, no trace 😉” I tease.
“Who needs a face when the rest of you is absolute perfection? 🤤”
“Flattery will get you everywhere, won’t it?”
“Maybe…. But fair warning, because you might need a fire extinguisher handy, because things are about to get hot 🔥” he teases.
“Mmm, I like the sound of that. Can’t wait to see what you’ve got up your sleeve, or should I say, under your jeans zip 🤤😉”
“You’ll find out soon enough. But until then, I’ll just be over here, counting down the seconds until I can have my wicked way with you.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. Until then, I’ll be waiting… impatiently 😉”
“Tell me that you want me.” He adds.
“I want you… all of you. Badly ❤️” I reply.
But am I ready for it?
His response comes swiftly,with a playful edge that makes my heart flutter.
“Careful what you wish for, babe. You might just get it. 😉”
I read his words, my imagination running wild with the possibilities of what he had in store for me.
“Is that a promise? Because I’m ready for anything.” I reply with an impromptu response.
Wait… did I just agree to sex?
“Oh, it’s definitely a promise. But you’ll have to wait until I have you in my arms to see just ‘how much’ 🍆 I can give you.”
His words send a thrill coursing through me and anticoagulation builds inside me.
“I can’t wait. I am already imagining all the ways you’ll make me lose control. I want to feel your heartbeat racing under my fingertips 💓” I say.
“Oh, you’ve got me in cardiac arrest already. 🩸” He teases.
“But I wanted to make your head spin 😈”
“But I am equipped for a gynecological exam. More than equipped basically. 😉”
Omg… where is this conversation going?
“Well, in that case, I think it’s time for some hands-on training with no ‘malpractice’ you know. 😉”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to follow all the rules… except for the ones we’re about to break together 😉” He replies and a low chuckle echoes through my mind as his response appears on the screen.
“Patience, my dear. Good things come to those who wait. 😉” I say.
“I promise you, it will be worth it.” He teases and I bite my lip, imagining his hands on my skin.
“I’ll be counting down the seconds until I can feel you. Until then, I’ll just have to keep dreaming of you.” I confess feeling a rush of love for the man on the other end of the screen.
***
I wake up with the remnants of our passionate conversation last night, as I pick my phone up to see a message from him.
“Hey babe, my parents are away tonight. Want to finally make use of that empty house and have some fun that we discussed yesterday?” He asks and a wide smile tugs at my lips.
“Hell yes! I’ve been waiting for this moment.” I say, and his response is quick.
“Get ready, because tonight’s going to be unforgettable.” He says and I can’t help myself but feel a surge of excitement at his words.
Just the thought of finally being alone together sending thrills down my spine. But as the initial rush of anticipation fades, a wave of nerves creeps in, threatening to dampen my excitement.
Sure, I am a medical student. I know all the ins and outs of human anatomy, the mechanics of sex laying bare in countless textbooks and lectures.
But knowing about something and actually experiencing it are two entirely different things.
I stare at his message.
What if I messed up? What if it hurts? What if I couldn’t please him?
Despite my best efforts to push the doubts aside, they linger in the back of my mind, casting a shadow over the excitement that had bubbled up inside me just a few moments ago.
Taking a deep breath, I try to push the negative thoughts away. But even as I reassure myself, a part of me can’t shake the fear of the unknown.
It is my first time, after all, and no amount of medical knowledge can fully prepare me for what lay ahead.
The day is passing on, and my excitement ebb and flow like the tide, alternating with bouts of nervousness that threaten to consume me.
Maybe I have this anxiety because of my past trauma.
Even when when I have survived sexual abuse and came out as a survivor, even then it impacts my thoughts of intimacy.
For as long as I can remember, the shadows of my past have followed me like a dark cloud, casting a pall over even the brightest moments of my life.
Just like this one.
It’s a dark reality that has shaped my perceptions of intimacy, trust, and self-worth in ways that I am still learning to untangle.
It’s not that I don’t want to experience pleasure or connection.
It’s far from it.
It’s just that the wounds of my past still ache with a pain that’s difficult to put into words.
The thought of being vulnerable with someone – of baring my body and soul to another human being, fills me with a sense of dread that’s difficult to shake. It’s not just nerves or jitters, it’s a deep-seated fear that threatens to suffocate me in its grip.
But today… As I finally decide to go past it, I am more than the sum of my past traumas.
But even for people who have no such traumas, losing Virginity still manages to send tingles down the spine of many girls.
The topic is as old as itself.
And probably, Netflix and access to porn even worsens it.
“You’re going to want to take off your clothes and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get Chlamydia…and die.”
The “Mean Girls” dramatic dialogue still echoes in my mind.
And just like that, the fear of getting an STI becomes the stuff of nightmares.
Because let’s be real here, in a desi family, for most of us, the “sex talk” with our parents was about as brief and awkward as a first date with someone you met on Tinder.
Unless… You are very privileged!
Even though I am from the ‘lot’ of people who feel pretty comfortable talking about sex but still find the idea of my ‘first time’ a little daunting.
Losing my virginity is feeling like I am standing at the edge of a vast ocean, unsure of whether to dive right in or turn back and retreat to the safety of the shore.
Right now, no sex and relationship podcasts I have listened to or articles I have devoured are coming to my rescue.
There is no denying that the prospect of the ‘first time’ can be a little… overwhelming, to say the least. But as a medical student I can say and testify, that it doesn’t have to be.
Sure, there’s a lot of pressure… from society, from pop culture, from our own inner demons to make the ‘first time’ perfect. But there is no such thing as perfect when it comes to sex.
And thank goodness for that.
I have many questions just like you, and for that I resort to my last option.
Yeah the internet!
“What should I expect for my first night of sex” I type the question.
“Will it hurt?”
“Will it be mind-blowingly amazing or awkward as hell?”
And just like that I pretty much asked anything, and now I know real life impacts of sex, far from the ‘fiction’ of our medical textbooks just explaining us the anatomy and physiology, leaving behind the emotional aspect.
Medically, it shouldn’t hurt much.
Yes, there might be some discomfort or even pain the first time around, but it shouldn’t persist.
Emotionally, it’s different for everyone.
To each their own, as they say!
Sex has the potential for pleasure beyond your wildest dreams even when you are experiencing a little bit of pain.
And as for the awkwardness?
Own it!
Remember that we’re all just fumbling our way through this crazy thing called life.
Now let’s go ahead with the big question on everyone’s mind: what does sex feel like?
For some, it’s an explosion of pleasure and ecstasy. For others, it might be a little uncomfortable or even painful at first.
And it’s okay to be nervous!
As Reena Liberman, MS., a wise sex therapist from Ann Arbor, Michigan, so eloquently puts it,
“It’s normal to feel anxious because sex is probably unlike anything you’ve done before.”
And she is right, like any new adventure, it can be a little scary stepping into the unknown.
One way to ease those pre-sex jitters is to get comfortable with your own body.
Going into sex without knowing anything about your own body is like driving for a journey without a map. So take the time to familiarize yourself with every nook and cranny with masturbation and you’ll feel more confident and empowered when the time comes to share yourself with someone else.
In a study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, researchers found that couples who freely communicated their sexual needs and desires had more healthy and fulfilling sex lives. So don’t be afraid to speak up, girls!
Whether it’s a gentle whisper or a bold declaration, let your partner know what you want and need in the bedroom.
Trust me, they’ll thank you for it.
Guys are always ready for some bedroom manners!
Now, I don’t know about you, but I have spent my fair share of evenings lost in the world of romantic movies, living vicariously through the passionate love scenes in every book.
And let’s be honest, who hasn’t fantasized about their first time being as romantic and satisfying as those steamy on-screen moments?
But here is the thing, while those movie scenes may be swoon-worthy and oh-so-romantic, they don’t always reflect the reality of first-time sex.
You see, when it comes to penetrative sex, it doesn’t always end in fireworks and earth-shattering orgasms.
In fact, according to a 2018 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, women only reach orgasm 65% of the time during sexual intercourse.
I know that girls spend hours fantasizing about this moment, imagining their first sex to be the epitome of passion and pleasure.
And while it certainly has the potential to be all of those things, it’s important to remember that it’s also okay if it’s not.
Give some time to your body, and your partner to understand too.
You can’t always ace it in one go.
Take it at your own pace.
Pleasure comes in many forms, and orgasm is just one small part of the equation.
Maybe it’s the way your partner’s lips feel against your skin, or maybe it’s the way their hands trace patterns on your body, or maybe it’s the way their cock rub against the skin of your pussy walls.
It’s time to let go of those unrealistic expectations and embrace the beauty of the imperfect, the messy, and the real. Because when it comes to first-time sex, it’s not about living up to some idealized version of perfection, it’s about exploring, learning, and growing together with your partner.
And to be honest, some people even say that they barely make it inside the first time.
So if you did that, it’s an achievement in itself as well.
Sex is messy, unpredictable, and oh-so-human.
So instead of putting pressure on yourself to live up to some unattainable standard of perfection, embrace the imperfections and enjoy the journey for what it is.
And Ah… the age-old myth!
First-time sex is inevitably going to be painful.
No… while it’s true that some people may experience discomfort or even pain during their first sexual experience, it’s certainly not a given.
In fact, with good lubrication, and some excellent communication, first-time sex can be a comfortable and enjoyable experience for both partners.
And if something doesn’t feel right or is causing discomfort, don’t be afraid to speak up.
Foreplay is often overlooked but can be the key to making first-time sex enjoyable. Take your time exploring each other’s bodies, kissing, touching, and caressing with care and intention.
Don’t just jump directly into the penetration, because then it won’t jump. (Pun intended)
Foreplay helps to relax both partners and increase arousal, making penetration more comfortable and enjoyable when the time comes.
There is no need to rush into anything.
Also, experimenting with positions isn’t something couples consider for their first time. But experimenting with positions is most crucial for the first time.
Don’t stick to one position. Explore and experiment with different positions to find what feels most comfortable and pleasurable. Take your time and listen to your body’s cues to discover what works best.
Last but certainly not least, prioritize safe sex practices to protect yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy.
Because obviously you wouldn’t want Chlamydia, or a living human being crying in the crib, with just your first attempt.
And with that the moment is finally coming close, and I find myself standing outside his door.
The sound of my own heartbeat thunder in my ears as I know that there is no turning back, now. With a deep breath, I push open the door and step inside.
“Hey. Are you ready, sweetheart? 😉” He asks, and I nod, trying to ignore the butterflies that dance in my stomach.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I reply, and within next seconds, his lips crush onto mine.
He swirled his tongue inside my mouth and I followed the lead and it was not a long time, when we both found ourselves naked standing in his living room.
“You look hotter in real life, and I wouldn’t like it if my neighbors saw the same sight as me.” He says with a smirk, as he carries me naked bridal style in his arms, and carries towards his bedroom, putting the curtains and blinds on, with just dim light peeking through the curtains.
We move closer, and his dick touches my pussy, creating sensations that I have been eager to experience. Our bodies move together, as he kisses my whole body, and his dick bulges up in size.
And the moment… he enters inside.
Fuck… fuck… fuck!
It’s not a curse. It’s a declaration of pleasure that his dick has sent through my body, even when his dick has not fully made it to the destination.👄💥
