Modern Problems Need New Age Solutions!

Thriving digital penetration, burgeoning globalization, and the surging revenue market for dating apps have been reducing the taboo associated with dating in India. The dating culture is relatively new to India.

While Indian valentines struggled to find their date a few years ago, the growing options have been making the dating dreams come true. However, the dating culture is still limited to metro cities; rural hinterlands still hold stereotypical views with regards to dating.

Keeping everything aside, there are a few fundamental flaws or gaps present in the mushrooming dating culture in India. One would wonder if it is even possible and safe to experience the glee of dating in India. This situation is warranting a new dating manual in these modern times to avoid geeky souls and find the valentine of your life.

Possible red flags to look out for:

Cybersecurity has been the prime concern with the increased usage of cyberspace. The issue has been gaining relevance in modern times as exploration of valentines and romantic endeavours have shifted online. Socialization and finding cupids has been made easy with evolving technologies and new applications and platforms each day. Although online dating has reduced the scuffle of finding the best dating partner, the comfort of anonymity has provided a paradise for scam stars.

Be it online or offline, scam stars are finding different ploys to trick you into their scam that makes it easy for them not only to steal your heart but many more things including your money and mental peace.

● Tricking desperate singles:

Desperate singles, college-going students, and teenagers are the prime targets. People belonging to this category, trying their luck in first love are the easiest targets and are the most vulnerable categories. It is easy to trick them and manipulate them into dancing to the tunes of frauds. The ideals of privacy and cybersecurity, besides aiming to make cyberspace a safe and secure place for socialization, has provided a safe haven for frauds under the veil of anonymity. It is next to impossible to find the original identity of someone, whose ultimate aim is to deceive people.

Conning someone into a false identity is one way of deceit. Negligence, innocence, and digital illiteracy are turning into weapons of the perpetrators. Long yearning for a loving heart may blind the eyes of desperate love lorns, which makes them susceptible to frauds. You should be looking out for these warning signs. If someone asks you for money or deeds of other kinds, start running.

● Hidden gender identity:

The pretty girl you are romancing within the past few days may not actually be a she rather a “HE.” It is possible in the virtual dating world. Few con men hide their identities and pose as women to lure passionate men into their traps. The last thing you can do to escape their claws is by being cautious. A genuine love-seeking soul reveals and shares their contact details. If the person from the other side is skipping personal information and delaying in-person meet-ups, that’s a high sign.

● Ill-intentions:

Not everyone searching for a dating partner is looking for an eternal soul or not genuine, per se. Although it is difficult to characterize genuine hearts, it is not as difficult to find the wicked ones. The person under the cloak may be a sexual psychopath, an extreme mentality, or a fraud. You don’t know until you fall into their claws. One sign to always look out for is, they don’t seem interested in you or your interests. So, this must ring alarm bells for you. If the person is not interested in finding more about his/her date, then he/she is probably up to something else.

● Targeting queers:

Choices are lean for the queer community in a global scenario more so in the Indian context. Online dating has become a good place for the queer community to find their love from the limited choices.

Realizing the despair, frauds are increasingly targeting queers. They are easy to target and manipulate. One thing you should always remember is not to believe anyone. Until and unless you meet up and feel safe with the other person, don’t make any commitments or promises and avoid doing money transactions.

Few dating rules you can design for yourself to find your perfect date:

Do I have to mention how simple and complex dating is at the same time? It is as simple as owning a phone but as tough as finding a good one. Maybe, that’s where certain dating rules kick in to help you up your guards against the conmen and lay the perfect path to your straightforward soul.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules but you can always have a set of predefined rules that direct you towards healthy relationships. Remember, truth is a hard pill to swallow. In the same manner, sometimes the most essential rules are not as fun. Yet have confidence and trust in yourself. You have them for a reason and they are your guards of protection so never let them down.

All this might have sounded fancy, but how do you figure out your own rules? That’s what I am here for today, to coach you and mentor you on dating rules that conform to modern times. Here are a few dating rules to consider in this modern world of passionate romance, there is nothing right or wrong. Choose the one that appeals to you and ditch the ones that don’t. That’s simple!

● Short dates:

You don’t have to spend days and months and circle the world together to find the right match. Keep your dates short and sweet, probably 90 minutes. Not more than that. 90 minutes is just sufficient to study the intentions of your date. Even though the person looks just fine, you should still be wary to not let a deviation from your expectations hurt you.

You can always see each other whenever you want. Keep your love meets brief and wise for the initial few times.

● Honesty:

Be upfront about your expectations and requirements that you are looking for in a person. If you are looking for a long term love life, spill the beans. After all, honesty is the first pillar of any relationship and you should build your love on it. You ain’t gaining anything by hiding facts. This leads you nowhere but disappointment in the later stages.

If you are afraid that the person will leave once you spill about your intentions, stop worrying. You are just looking for an honest long love, it doesn’t have to be them mandatorily. If they can’t understand that, they probably don’t understand you at all. And what is life with a person who is not understanding?

● Stay safe:

Safety is the utmost priority. Don’t hesitate or worry about politeness, if you don’t feel safe or comfortable. Block and run away. It is better to keep your near ones informed if you are meeting up with a stranger from a dating app. In this case, meet them in a public place, don’t go with them to private places if you don’t trust them, be frank and let them know that you have not grown into the comfort zone yet. Be clear-headed and don’t get driven by passionate emotions.

● Stick to your Pace:

Your life should run according to your pace not according to the whims and fancies of others. Extend this rule for your love-dating life as well. Neither is it a sin to have sex on a first date nor is it insane to wait for your loved ones. You decide what you want, not the society nor a stranger. However, it is recommended to wait, if you hesitate or feel uncomfortable to go intimate if you are not ready yet.

● Positive attitude:

While it is important to stay cautious, it is equally important to approach with a positive attitude. Being doubtful, harsh, or negative can startle your potential partner. Once you start approaching with a positive attitude you will begin to realize its positive outcomes. Staying positive doesn’t mean ignorance. You can stay positive while being alert.

● Don’t hesitate:

We attribute so much importance to few things that hold no relevance and value in modern times. This holds ground in “Girls don’t make the first move.” While you are waiting for him to make the first move, he may be romancing someone else. Hence, don’t delay, don’t hesitate, and don’t miss on chances holding on to lame theories put forth by imaginary stereotypical mindsets.

● Be You:

Although this is the most reasserted rule, I would like to mention it once again. Because it holds so much significance especially if you are looking for a genuine long-term relationship. Leave your representative back in your home. Take your own messy personality with you. If the person doesn’t like you for who you are then he is not the right match, you girl! Always have a place for someone who values you, cherishes you, respects you, and celebrates you for who you are. You can’t fake the whole journey, right? When there is someone who is willing to love you for who you are, why should you even change your personality?

● Honour yourself:

Your self-respect and your honour should always occupy the top space for you. Always look if people are ignorant towards others dignity. This is not an ideal trait I would be looking for and you shouldn’t too. When the question of your dignity and the relationship arrives, always choose dignity because it is what stays with you forever. Pause the time and process your thoughts to take a wise decision.

Conclusion

Life is too short to let go of the love that comes to you. Dating culture has transformed the face of it today more than a couple of years ago. The landscape of dating etiquette beginning from texting etiquette to when to go intimate are all confusing yet pre-set in the modern world. These rules are just a few to help you in going at your own pace in building an efficient and healthy relationship. You can craft some for yourself in a similar fashion to suit your needs and tastes.

If you want to learn more about the new age dating problems and solutions you can preorder my latest book on Kindle titled ‘Datebook: The New Age Guide to Modern Dating’ from Amazon.