Mysterious Man
I held a steaming cup of black coffee in my hands and watched it steam. Everything was blur in front of me. Placing it down, picked up my diary. It had been about twenty days since I last wrote in it.
Last entry was all about my latest shade of Billboard from Kay. The matte shimmer was still on my lips. Then there was my mantra of 2020, ‘Still your mind’.
Memories flashed past me, and every failed attempt to achieve that crossed my mind. It was like a page I did not wish to turn but still I turn it every time.
I was sweating, panting and suffocating inside the sauna bath. I shouted at the top of my voice but nobody heard me. My hands crossed around my breasts until I fell unconscious on the floor all naked.
It must have been an hour. I found myself at the same place and someone had just turned the steam off.
My hand raised to wipe the mirror still blurred with mist. I could see myself at my worst. My neck and shoulders were scratched red with nails. Definitely they were mine.
The room was dark with no lights, Grey walls. A bench was placed in the extreme right, away from the steam showers. Still steam would envelop you entirely. Then there was a huge mirror on the adjacent wall and a small window that showered sunlight on the mirror. I felt caged in that mirror.
I sat down, my oiled body shimmering a little in the mirror. I was trying to tell myself that I am no less than him. It’s been six months since he came into my life. I met him once and heard him every day. There are no regrets of having him in it, when there should be some.
I was soon getting married. And I was marrying the man I fell in love with years ago, my fairy tale love story is waiting at my footsteps for its final climax.Still the aisle feels nothing less than a surrender.
I eagerly wanted that surrender but not from past six months. I still remember when he asked me, if I would ever think about him. I was so proudly in love with my man that I told him, “No”. While there was a part of me that immediately opposed my decision. That’s when I told him, “You are like an ultimate goal of my life, I would think of you the day I have nothing to lose.”
You know why did I call him an Ultimate goal? I knew there will be no coming back, that’s why I want to go but only when I would have nothing to look back at.
This isn’t a fairy tale and he isn’t a prince charming. He is the villain of my story who is not seeking love, even wants me to be his bad women. There will be no happily ever after. Just a new present every day. There won’t be any surrender, I could fly like a free bird wherever I want. No promises would be made nor even asked for.
Beyond this it’s all about desires, just sexual desires where we would be slaves of each other. We would be diving in the oceans of ecstasy. He would wrap my soul in his urge to rejoice my body.
I wanted to grab him in this very moment, and lose myself in that far away land. A mystery of life would fall in place with no else desire left. This is my idea of utopia, and I want to share it and live in it with him. There would be no insecurities either.
He wouldn’t be bound to me nor I to him.
A cold shiver ran down my back as I pulled myself back from my thoughts. This world would never exist for me. I am the kind of person that flows with my emotions not desires. It’s my heart that matters not just my body, I am far more than my physical being.
“Take it slow, you want the sauna bath again?” I wonder how every time he get to know when I am thinking about him.
“I don’t want to go through that torture again.” I was firm this time. Sauna is not going to heal my wounds that he himself has given. He was smiling standing adjacent to me with his cup of coffee. I realised mine was not hot anymore. I drank it in a single sip.
“I am not here to torture you, I want to get out of your cliché love life and everybody live such a life. We are meant for something different.” My eyes starred at his blue eyes, sometimes I feel he doesn’t belong to this planet.
Light brown hair, broad forehead, high cheekbones, perfect jawline and that dimple on his right cheek, when he gives me a broad smile. He is a flawless example of beauty in my life.
“Why me?” the only question I have for him.
This question drags him towards me, he becomes restless. All he wants to let me know that my scars would be cherished by him, my insecurities would be vanished and my responsibilities would eradicate.
Slowly he held my hands over to the top of my head as he sank himself to breathe from my neck. I guess he loves the way I smell. “I am not in love with your body, it’s your soul.”
I wanted to meet my soul too and even his soul. I pulled my hands back so I can hold him, he held them stiff to the top again. “Your body needs to be still before you learn to still your mind.”
He kept on resisting me to even touch him. He unzipped my pants, and removed my panties. The upper part of my body was covered while my lower was bared. I thought we will jump to the sex in the first place.
He proved me wrong once more, he was more than the physical being. He sniffed himself inside my upper half. Soon his soft fingers were brushing against my breasts and nipples. It was getting hard to stay still. Smoothly he rolled my top above from my hands, it was as smooth as his hands on me.
He blindfolded me, and finally he pulled my hands down to take me somewhere. I was standing in the middle, it was hard to see anything. While he was somewhere around me, my arms were trying to find him.
As he touched my shoulders and calmly placed my arms near my body. I could feel his chest across my back.
He sat down, while holding my lower back he widened my legs to cross them over him. I am familiar to this place. It was the bench, suddenly there was sound of gush someone stared the steam.
I was scared, as I held him tightly. He placed my hands at my back and gave my body a lift.
My mind was struggling the fact that soon steam would engulf us. “Still” he whispered in my ears. He placed his penis inside me and squeezed my breasts hard.
I was reciprocating his motion, my shoulders and neck were all under his control. This didn’t stop for long, he was still inside me. He rubbed oil on my body to calm me down.
Soon he removed the blindfold and I was lying on the floor. Hardly conscious.I once again penned down what happened. This time my urge was fulfilled and I was lying in peace. His presence or absence does not bother me. He can’t have me in his far away world and I have buried him in paper and pen.
Meanwhile the world knows we met once, it’s just me who knows the magic happened twice.
