Opening The Gateway To Orgasm!
The day was showery, a perfect day that matched the fantasy world of the novel I was reading. It’s just so perfect, the rain pouring down slowly, dripping down the window pane and making it foggy, as I lift my arm to make a cute smiley over the glass, and here comes my irritating love.
“Hey babe! Here is the coffee”, he says and keeps the coffee on the table and takes away the book in my hand. And pulled me up for a hug, it was warm and soothing. It started slowly with a hug and hands trailing from here to there and from the hall room, we reached our bedrooms.
One by one each cloth from my body was peeled off, he looked at me and murmured “Gorgeous”. But all I was thinking of was to pull up the bed sheet over my body and cover it. I always had a body image issue and felt that my body was not as beautiful as shown in commercials.
The weather was perfect, my love was with me and a heated love session was awaiting. The way he moved, and the way he was touching me was gentle, but I was insecure about the body, the scars, and the marks that were there on the stomach and thighs, when he touched me I felt good but as he got inside me I was zoned out, I didn’t know what to feel. I couldn’t cum and faked it without even trying to feel what was happening to me…
Have you ever felt this too? Have you felt mental blockage that hinders orgasm?
Many women have talked about how they zone out during sex and feel guilt for making their partner believe they enjoyed it too.
Sexuality is an intricate part of human life that is very personal and people don’t discuss it much openly. It is something a human should find pleasurable and enjoyable.
Many factors like stress, anxiety, frustration, and so on hinder having beautiful enjoyable sex, and people often find it difficult to have an orgasm, especially women. These mental obstacles cause sexual frustrations and may even affect our relationships and day-to-day activities.
“Hey dude last night I was sharing a moment with a guy and suddenly I didn’t feel anything.”
“Seriously! I thought it was my problem. Yesterday a similar thing happened. It was such a lovely day, and when I was having sex with my boyfriend, I didn’t feel anything. I was zoned out and couldn’t cum and I faked it so that he wouldn’t feel bad.”
Most women under performance pressure, negative body image, and due to guilt of zoning out, women fake their pleasure instead of finding a solution to it. Some of the ways to overcome these blockades are:
One can overpower the anxiety of performance through communication and creating an emotional bond with their partner. Lack of emotional bond can also be a reason. Having an open conversation about how you feel, what makes you horny can help to overpower the siege that is limiting you from enjoying your love time.
While walking by the lane my boyfriend commented. “Look!! Isn’t she beautiful, looks so fit”. Those words started ringing like a jinx in my ear.
The negative body portrayal,“ Dude I look ugly, I am fat, I am thin, I am this that, and so on”, and feeling uncomfortable in their skin, limits some people to visualize themselves sexually. For this, a person can boost themselves through self-worth, by trying to accept themself and realizing the fact that your partner loves you for what you are, not how you look or perform in bed.
Commercials and movies have created a plastic image of beauty and this creates a negative image that the body has to be in this particular way, but every curve is as beautiful as not having a curve.
Some people have difficulty connecting emotionally with their bodies’ physical sensations during sex. This disconnection might make it difficult to achieve orgasm.
Mindfulness techniques such as sensate concentration or body scanning can assist individuals in becoming more attentive to the sensations of their bodies. Self-awareness practice during sex can help to improve the mind-body connection.
“These days work is so stressful and I am having a fight with my husband over the property issue. I am so exhausted ”
Stress and anxiety: Apart from anxiety related to sex life the factors that induce it from other aspects of life also become a hindrance in exploring and barging out of the pleasure bubble. Constant stress at the workplace, from family, from children, and other relationship issues creates internal pressure that limits a person to open up in their sexual lives.
Past traumatic events or unresolved emotional difficulties can have a substantial influence on an individual’s capacity to enjoy sexual intimacy. Emotional scars can cause feelings of vulnerability and dread, preventing the mind from fully engaging in the present. So first you will have to fix your emotional quotient through therapies and communication.
“I don’t know what to feel during sex, she said.”
“What? You don’t know, what do you mean?”
“It’s my first time and my husband seems to enjoy it and I don’t know anything. When I told my mother and she said that you don’t feel anything and don’t have to”, she said.
Social stigma: Women are often degraded for enjoying intercourse, it’s considered something only a man should do. Religious thoughts and beliefs have always created a barricade in women’s minds.
Negative sex ideas or guilt associated with sexual impulses have to be challenged and misinterpreted negative sex beliefs should be dismissed. Learn more about healthy sexual expression and consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual difficulties.
Orgasm is a normal and healthy feature of human sexuality, but mental obstacles can create barriers that prevent this sensation. It is critical to recognize and resolve these mental obstacles, which might be caused by stress, worry, interpersonal troubles, prior experiences, or other circumstances. Open communication, self-care, counseling, and an emphasis on emotional connection can help people and couples overcome these difficulties and enjoy more pleasant and rewarding sexual encounters.
Guys, it’s in your mind….Breaking through these mental barriers can lead to increased sexual satisfaction and general well-being. And the first step towards this is to Love yourself and be free to feel everything.
