Trouple: Three In Love

They say two is company, three is a crowd. Well, not really. For some people, ‘three’ can be all about excitement, adventure & passion. And that is not all, it could also be about security, comfort and ease of living. A trend of poly-amorous marriage is growing popular in the recent times. This is popularly known as a ‘ménages à trois’.

History is rife with stories of ménages à trois running rampant in poor households and among the royals. It has been successfully portrayed in modern time cinema. One popular movie is Jules & Jim, where the protagonists form a love triangle and even reach a point where they start living together. While it does look like a perfect life in the beginning, the characters eventually succumb to basic human complexities. After all, life can be difficult when you share a partner under the same roof. But this is not true for everyone. Some people find love easily, while sharing partners, and have no qualms about sharing their partners. But how feasible is the idea in the current context when things like jealousy, possessiveness, and insecurities have acquired a strong hold in the minds of the young? Is it possible to share the woman, or the man of your dreams for some larger purpose? Well, there are certainly some people who have done this in the past for valid reasons such as a man marrying his brother’s wife at the time of his death, sisters marrying into the same household out of poverty, and amongst the kings and rulers to establish their territorial dominance and acquire wealth. But how common is marrying two partners for the very simple fact that you love them and want to have them both? The topic is under a lot of eyeballs, thanks to Armaan Malik’s recent internet-shattering post of two pregnant wives. The popular Youtuber’s post went viral and drew some flak and criticism by the netizens.

Last year, Malik’s both wives had released a two-part saga of how love ensued between the three and they ended up living together. While we do not want to get into the debate of whether the picture deserves the cringe it has received or not, we are more interested in the idea of poly-amorous relationships in modern times.

There are people who secretly want to be in love…with two people, but cannot do it because society tells them to do otherwise. In a 2012 study, it was revealed that about 4 percent of relationships are non-monogamous. Some believe that it leads to lesser chances of infidelity and cheating, but can a poly-amorous relationship be ever justified and supported? Well, that is hard to say. In West Bengal, there was a popular story of a man who married to two sisters and happily enjoyed a passionate ménages à trois. There are many more similar examples among our grandparents or great grandparents who married two women and lead a happy life. Well, they had their own reasons, though. While all this seems to be okay when we look from a progressive outlook, there are many of us who see and listen to these stories and silently wonder, “Why oh, why. Why can’t love be enough for some people?”

These days, the arrangement is known by cooler terms like ‘a trio,’ ‘trouple’ or ‘open marriage.’ Once, Armaan had compared his two wives to his two kidneys, saying how precious both are to him. If one were to joke about it, well, a man can easily live with a single kidney too (winks). Jokes apart, Armaan confessed his deep and equal love for both his partners. Armaan had initially got married to Payal Malik, and later went on to marry his wife’s friend Kritika.

So how popular exactly are poly-amorous relationships and marriages? Studies have revealed that poly-amorous relationships can be happy, healthy and long-lasting. But then some other research studies state that such relationships can last for an average of eight years. So, perhaps it’s not a ‘happy ever after’ for most ‘trouples.’

Happy or not, it is believed that ‘trouples’ can be great for sexual pleasures and fetishes for partners who have incredible sex drive. It can certainly be considered as a prolonged ‘threesome’ for people who are okay to share partners as long as they can be sexually aroused and content. And of course, do not hurt anyone’s feelings in doing so. A ‘trouple’ who insisted on keeping their names secret revealed an interesting angle to the whole concept. “We maintain a low-profile life, and are extremely happy with the way we live our lives. It’s been over a decade and we still haven’t fallen apart. In fact, this ménages à trois has made our relationship stronger. It has certainly minimised our scope of cheating outside the threesome arrangement,” says the man.

This ‘trouple’ had initially started off with a normal monogamous marriage. Over the years, the wife started cheating with another man for casual sex. When the husband found out, he discovered their nude pictures and somehow it made him horny. “I proposed the idea that let’s do it together,” says the husband. “Ever since, there has been no stopping. He keeps visiting us and stays for months at our house every now and then. We all are very happy this way and probably enjoy more wilder sex than any couple out there of our age.” Phew! Stories do not end of how experimental can people get in love and romance.

However, open marriages or things like trouples are not every person’s cup of tea. Most youngsters believe that the idea of multiple partners is ‘archaic, obnoxious and illegal.’ Like they say, it may look beautiful at the start, but eventually insecurity and loneliness creep in. Experts say that if you are looking for ways to solve your existing marital or relationship problems by agreeing for a three-way route, it may not be a very good idea in the long run. It can even destroy the peace of many people. More than anything, what we feel is ménages à trois is an art of handling your love life, which does not go down well for everyone. Threesome is still a better way to try this if you’re not sure about your monogamous instincts. Many times, feelings of jealousy and insecurity are actually overshadowed in a bid to save a marriage/relationship. One has to know where to draw a line, because ménages à trois is not for everyone. And if your partner is interested in pursuing a casual relationship outside the serious relationship he/she has with you, you’ve to tread carefully and listen to your heart first. Adventure is one thing but signing up for something as risky and challenging as this can be difficult.

While we are at it, let us hope Armaan’s wives undergo a healthy pregnancy. Whether it is going to be a happy ever after for the trio or not, only time can tell. Meanwhile, we can all keep the post behind us and move on with our lives while wishing them a good luck!