Unpopular Opinions on Dating: A Cautionary Tale for serial lovers
Dating can be a tricky affair for some, while it is a smooth sail for others. It differs based on individual experiences and the circumstances they have been brought up in. However, regardless of the dating shenanigans, everyone has one unpopular opinion that they do not express publicly, thinking it might not go well with other people.
I could not help but wonder what unpopular opinions people suppress out of fear of judgment or not conforming to popular notions. But, here are a few unpopular opinions of mine.
Disclaimer: reader discretion is adviced.
Being single is underrated.
I have been single for as long as. I remember, and apart from seeing a couple of people, I have never been in a serious relationship. It is not like I despise being in a relationship or am too absorbed in my self-love journey. I did not meet anyone I could connect with on a spiritual, physical, and intellectual level. I realized that I have made it here all by myself. Being single is not as hard as people imagine. One more advantage of it is you don’t have to question yourself constantly “ Is he the one?”, or “ Do I really love him?”, “How will I know if he really means it when he says he likes me?”.
Not cheating does not make you a great partner.
Yes, people who are loyal are keepers, but that does not justify an unhealthy pattern of whining all the time. Toxicity comes from unnecessary manipulation, misleading, nagging, lack of empathy towards your partner’s feelings, selfishness, and not being considerate when it comes to giving them their space. Loyalty accompanied with a level-headed approach in any relationship makes it a great relationship.
Instant Sparks and Chemistry is a myth that needs to be busted.
You don’t see the sparks in real life! Everyone usually advises you to analyze whether you see the vision and future with the person right after your first date, but I believe it’s practically hard to assess in one date. This is not a Bollywood story, and nature doesn’t work its way to help you spot your soulmate in the first instance. You can find familiarity on the first interaction with some and continue to discover the potential, which is fine…!
Initial connections have a propensity to go away as well.
Some first dates and meetings are unreal. After a few dates, you may start believing that you’ve met the one and fantasize about a perfect life together. For some, however, this is not the case. Humans respond and behave differently depending on the situation. You sense an instant connection with someone right from your first date. Weekend dates progress into texting, then to countless phone calls, and suddenly, a difference of opinions and choices will make you end the relationship for good.
It’s just as vital to talk about what you don’t like as it is to talk about what you enjoy.
Your partner is fully aware of your preferences; they know your favorite cuisine and your dream destination that you wrote in your journal in grade school. They may know your favourite qualities and the ones that you seek in a person before considering them as your perfect acquaintance. They also know you like Yoga for exercise. But do they know your dislikes, pet peeves, and trigger points?. Signing up for companionship requires a holistic approach to what matters the most for your partner and what matters the least. It will help you build a strong bond, detect any toxic traits, and heal together.
It’s healthy to argue once in a while
Arguments in a relationship are one of the most common stumbling blocks to a happy relationship. However, having disagreements and being vocal about them in a relationship can sometimes strengthen your bond. However, arguing regularly is not healthy. If you often argue with your significant other, it’s a major red flag in your relationship, and you deserve better!
Your relationship does not build the foundation of your happiness.
Because your happiness shouldn’t be tied with your relationship status. Your significant other does not bear responsibility for your happiness. Rather than delegating this obligation to your partner, it is up to you to ensure that you are satisfied in your relationship. All a relationship can do is add to your existing happiness.
Dating should not be viewed as a means to an end.
The ‘Dating to marry’ mindset can coerce an individual into settling with something that is very toxic for them. However, dating is only a phase that helps you understand how far you can go with the person.
Maybe it was not them; it is you!
People often say, “It’s not you; it’s me.” Put the blame on someone else, shift the attention, and get to work. Stop being cliched and dig a little deeper; you never know what you’ll find.
The couple that splits the bill together stays together.
The wish to have equal standing in a relationship comes with equal contribution to keep that relationship – Emotional, financial, and material. Unless it’s a special occasion or someone’s birthday, the bill on your date should always be shared equally – regardless of who invited whom out.”
Co-dependence is the death of relationships.
People believe that being in a relationship necessitates codependency, yet I think that this is the death knell for many partnerships. In a relationship, I believe it is essential to be individual. Spend time apart, pursue your own interests, and socialize with people who share your interests.
‘I love you’ is not a cliche.
There’s a reason it’s called three magical words. People need to quit playing with the phrase “I love you” like it’s nobody’s business. It holds an emotional value for some people. So remember that the next time someone says something like that to you. Check to see if they actually mean it or just saying it for the sake of saying it!
Companionship does not mean mirroring every action and thought process.
Your significant other does not need to follow or spy on everything you do. Your individuality should always be respected. Likewise, your partner doesn’t have to concur with all your opinions; you can talk about it if it is hurting your relationship. But, don’t force your views on them; it’s unhealthy.
Healing is as important as communication.
The most important question to ask before dating someone is if they are healing from any past trauma and how successful they are in their attempts. Sometimes, people hurt their partners in the process and turn into maniacs. You wouldn’t want to be hurt in the process of healing someone else. Also, Don’t carry your previous relationship’s baggage into your next one. Just because someone hurt you in the past doesn’t mean everyone else in your life will end up hurting you; Give them an opportunity and give love a chance.
Love is not always enough.
A happy and healthy companionship requires a lot more than just love – Mutual understanding, affection, respect, and acknowledging your partner’s efforts in keeping your relationship healthy and happy.
