What Turns Us Off !
I am not sure what qualities of men trigger a woman. But with my limited experience, numerous night-overs with my girl pals, and lady-of-substance-brunches with so many amazing women in my life, I can say with confidence; what women do not want! When Adam was flexing his skills in the garden of Eden to persuade Eve into procreation, naive Eve was clueless about her preferences. She pretty much gave in to the desire of Adam, and voila!! Here we are, struggling to find enough space amidst the exploding population.
I have had the privilege to listen to men rant about their unsuccessful attempts at “charming” women.
While certain things that men do impress women, some men awfully fail in understanding what women actually look for in a man. Like men having diverse interests and opinions, women too have their preferences. Lack of understanding and self-obsession makes it difficult for men to comprehend the mixed signals they usually get from women.
To all the fellas out there !! Let me be your ‘wing-man’ and to all the sisters out there! Let me be your “advocate.” Here are a few things men must avoid doing; even unknowingly, that turns out to be a big turn-off for women!
My first turn-off in the list has to be men’s annoying trait of taking sexual references to anything that women say. Duh! I can ask for it if I want it. I mean, just because I mentioned that I like Nutella over peanut butter spread, you do not have to imagine things and reveal your bizarre sexual fantasies!! Don’t you worry about making the first move as a man; your girl can express her interest!!! Can we please go back to the simple foodporn convo and talk about how we like our food rather than drawing inferences!
Women are not sex objects. They are so much more than that! Be it your first date or ten years into your marriage, understand that date nights are not an opportunity to make sexual advances. It can be a joyous, delightful experience too.
Most of the Men feel that self-praising and boasting is their birthright… It is totally fine to be proud of your achievements; you have all the right to share them with people you are interested in. But there is a fine line between sharing and boasting, crossing which will be annoying to your partner. Praising about your wealth and status all the time throughout the date too sends a negative impression. I mean, it is fine if you want to be upfront about your social position, no harm, but anything more than information is annoying.
The worst and the most annoying turn-off for me is Name-dropping. Especially when you drop the names of brands I am unfamiliar with or people I have never heard of, like some local artists or celebrities. Or worse, women you have dated in the past. So your second last ex-girlfriend from college was a finalist in Miss Delhi Pageant? I am excited !! Tell me more, Mr. Big !!
This might be an unpopular opinion, but guys who use bad grammar and SMS language, aka textese while starting a conversation, are an immediate turn-off for me. The language faux pas is a wrong move for beginners. If you are not that good with the English language, you don’t have to go through all the pseudo-Wren and Martin texts.
Men who give mixed signals are a big turn-off… In one second, they are dreamy male characters from Mills and boons, and the next moment, they are all cold shoulders. Macha..stop being a traffic sign and be clear and consistent; that will at least show you in the positive light as a human being with sanity and stability.
The next thing is the most common for 90% of women out there and very, very important to me. Men with poor hygiene and no sense of tidiness are an instant turn-off!! Taking showers and self-grooming must be a self-care routine for men, not a liability or an obligation. All those hot as fu*k athletes and crazy rockstars can attract women instantly, but if they stink upon approaching closer, then no scoreboard or jamming sessions would prevent them from getting zombied. It is time now to. Buckle up, Guys. Switch those deodorants and perfumes with shower gels and bath salts. It will save you a lot of ewwws and dirty gazes over a date gone wrong for no reason! (If in case you do not believe in this, my exes can vouch for that !!)
Imagine finding a guy who is perfect in all ways. By perfect, I mean no drug addiction, no trauma-induced subtle behavior, and also a guy who is head over heels for you. Then what can possibly go wrong? Why would a woman lose her interest in him? What can be the possible reason for a guy this perfect gets rejected?. The answer to this obsession and falling in love too soon, too deeply!! This can be a bigger turn-off, if you ask me. From a woman’s perspective, a mad guy in love with her can be very flattering. But human beings tend to lose interest in things they achieve and obtain too quickly as easily. We appreciate and value relationships and people who fall for us. But that doesn’t count the love out of desperation with anyone. Forcing a relationship is a big turn-off because emotional compatibility is required to lead to a healthy relationship; it is not a precondition.
Now that we have come this far, let us address the last but not the least disappointing trait in men that’s an instant turn-off for women. Emotionally unavailable men can ruin and end everything. Women do not seek a man who can only provide financial security. This is the 21st Century, you all. Everyone can figure things out for themselves, including women. What matters in a relationship is emotional security! No matter how many gifts or luxuries a guy gives his lady, if he can not provide emotional safety, it is a dead-end !!
So, a little heads up for my fellas. Next time when alk to your woman, ask her how her day was and hear her out instead of asking her what she prefers for Valentine. Your woman would trade her diamonds for your considerate behaviour and empathy any day !!
This was my take on some significant turn-offs. Hit the comment section and enlighten the male readers so that they do not mess up their next date!! After all, we all want love. A little disclaimer upfront will cause no harm !
