Why is it hard to be a working woman?
I used to think that being an earning member of the family fixes everything and makes it easier for us women. But, little did I know that women will always have to rise up to the challenges whether we earn or not. Global female workforce is lingering at a mere 38.8%, as of 2019 and it has only increased with the pandemic induced hardships.
Majority of hospitality, education, retail, and IT sectors constitute the highest women participation still there is gender pay gap, no grievance mechanism for workplace harassment, and they are most susceptible to job losses in face of adversities like ‘Pandemics.’ Do you still think that women have it easy as soon as they join the workforce?
No, we don’t have it easier
Most of you firmly believe that working women are relieved from their ‘homely’ or ‘wifely’ duties and ‘patriarchal’ obligations. But, It took a virus to reveal the stark realities of what working women are forced to endure through.
Until and unless, you don’t have an overly supportive husband or a family who believe that women have rights too, you don’t have it easier. With the dominant and assertive patriarchal systems, taking care of the household is always a ‘woman’s’ duty. No matter if you are married or not. No matter how late you reach your home after a hectic day’s work, no one cares to clean the grimy utensils because it is a ‘woman’s’ duty.
This assertive behavior stems from the age old beliefs that men are the sole-earners of the family and women are the ‘feeding hands.’ But, the arguments that the balance of power tilts, equitable distribution of household works between the couple starts, and freedom of choice increases as soon as women start working are still weeping in the kitchen.
Respect, individuality, and independence
As women, we are never allowed to think and act independently and our individuality as a human being is not respected enough. But, the faulty assumptions that education and a job will grant as financial independence and autonomy in our own life’s decisions are still far from reality. Despite being working women and earning, most of the women don’t get a say in familial matters, take independent decisions, leave the respect of individuality alone.
On top of all, judgmental glares, sarcastic tantrums, and ‘not an ideal’ woman statements find their way each and every day to our ears. We are living in an imaginary society where we can encounter various instances in which marital rape is entirely ruled out. Let alone respect of opinion and independence to engage in consensual sex. But, no. Just because a women earns doesn’t mean she get to uphold her bodily autonomy in her life.
Before vs after marriage
Marriage alone is not the culprit for making it harder for working women. It is but one gloss over that people tend to blame. Even before marriage, women get little say in their life’s decisions such as marriage, education, and job. Right from birth to marriage, women don’t have ‘maturity’ to have an opinion and say in their own rights.
The education they receive, the ‘ideal man’ they choose, and the ‘near-to-home’ job they say yes to, is all decided by family. Even if the woman moves out of the ‘oppressive’ environment, she had to endure workplace harassment, inappropriate advances, and opportunist superiors. While life before marriage is not as easy, marriage is offered as a solution to these day-to-day struggles to escape from the societal reality towards women.
Telling women not men
You see, we are a very generous society. We offer life lessons to women to endure the everyday harassment and come out unbruised and empowered, while all we have to do is educate men how to be considerate about women.
Sexual advances, public groping, and work burnouts are real. We do not acknowledge the sufferings of women especially working women enough. Our house hold work is not easier as much as you assume and it takes significant amount of effort as it does for your 9 to 5 job. And, doing an ‘extra hour’ after reaching home after a hectic day’s work is all the more overwhelming.
Yet, very less men and families acknowledge, approve, and support women who are working day in and day out to make the ends meet. Even if they do, the women is considered blessed and the ‘supporters’ are glorified to contribute to the women’s success, while it was there mere responsibility.
Genderized roles:
Inconsiderate men and society as a whole has never been welcoming of working women. We are not allowed to suggest, involve in financial discussions of the family, or complain about the workload let alone the countless sacrifices that are made for the husband and his family.
Life becomes incredibly tough for working mothers. Nurturing and nursing a baby is entirely women’s responsibility, add to the pressure of 9 to 5 work and household activities. Men are contributing their chromosomes too, then why is it solely a women’s responsibility?
Even when a woman hires house help, managing and supervising work falls on their shoulders. If the wife earns higher, pampering and calming husband’s ego is an added responsibility of the ‘house wife.’
Have you ever seen a man, who gave up on his dreams to get married? Or who don’t get a say in giving birth to their child? Or who are advised to leave their jobs to take care of their wives, babies, and the ‘house?’ or ‘who are raped by their wives?’ or ‘who endure domestic violence?’ No, right? Because, we believe all these are women’s duties and the society raises her to give up all her dreams and rights. That explains the low female workforce participation and higher burnout in women.
Choosing to be a working woman is in itself a challenging and empowering task, considering the unapologetic patriarchal system and insensitive biased society that doesn’t heed to the needs and rights of working women. Choosing to work is not an offence; rather a choice of your own. Genderization of household activities is just one factor of dominant patriarchal society that is making the work-life balance of women even harder.
Remember, you as a family or husband are not “allowing” a woman to pursue her passions. It is her right, whether you ‘permit’ or not. Stop comparing women with other’s “daughters and daughters-in law”, it is our life and we get to choose what we do with it and who gets to be a part of it.
No, working women don’t have it easier as long as the society realizes and acknowledges the inequality and inclination of power in the hands of dominant lot. To create an equal and liberating place for working women, it is essential to sensitize, raise awareness, and educate everyone to just take over their own responsibilities. Because, we don’t need assistance or help to thrive; rather an equitable world to make our voices heard.
