Why So Serious!
We live in a world where women are born with the responsibility of meeting the expectations of society and constantly proving at every stage of life that we possess the ideal qualities that the society deems necessary in a woman. The so-called ‘wonder woman’ isn’t the one with supreme powers alone, she is a woman who does her daily chores, is expected to be an ideal girlfriend, let alone a wife, and be a hundred other things to maintain the order in the world. She is supposed to be a role-model to the younger generation, dress-up properly in public, greet elders with respect, cover her body in public places, know how to cook, and of course be a ‘sanskari’ woman at the end of the day.
The word ‘sanskari’ has been so abused in our culture, in the context of women, that these days even a grown-up woman’s choice of dressing is questioned conspicuously. Not to mention the widespread penetration of social media and the wide access to digital media has only deepened the issue further. Remember how Priyanka Chopra was trolled for wearing a knee-length dress in front of the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi? Well, those of you who don’t know, PeeCee was personally attacked for her ‘indecent’ attire while meeting the PM in Berlin. She was also criticized for sitting cross-legged in front of him. Wherever women go, it seems like misogyny chases them to teach them ‘manners’ and ‘sanskar’ – irrespective of the country or culture. If a successful woman like PC can become a target, how can we ignore the kind of backlash a common woman might face when she does the ‘unthinkable’ and dresses up a certain way that offends our culture?
India is a sacred land that worships female deities. There are festivals dedicated to Goddesses and ‘devis’ where they are revered deeply by both women and men alike. We do see topless women figurines in temples and archaeological hotspots, which is accepted as a part of our ‘kama sutra’ culture, or ‘divine sexuality’. Then why does a woman wearing a short dress or a bikini become such a hot topic for discussion?
Today, being famous is an added responsibility and trouble for all the women. You are constantly under the vigil of the paparazzi and public scrutiny for how you dress, behave, or even SIT. More often than not, women and their ‘behaviour’ or ‘dressing style’ becomes a point of discussion or debate for experts on news channels and on digital forums. Of course, after all, women’s dressing is the ever green hot topic of debate in our society. I mean, you cannot expect more from a society. where celebrity women are made fun of or trolled for merely dressing the way they like, or being scantily clad. There are news flashes on ‘wardrobe malfunctions’ of female stars, but never of their male counterparts.
There is so much pressure on women that even our daily lives are scrutinized by the male gaze. Speaking of which, birthday bashes are a great excuse to target women. In 2020, Kendall Jenner was slammed for being dressed up as Pamela Anderson’s “Barb Wire” character in a Halloween themed birthday bash. When Miley Cyrus was prepping up for her 21st birthday, she intended to cross all barriers of so-called ‘decency’ and indulge in a sex-themed birthday party and this instantly became a breaking news.
While getting drunk and donning a weird costume are all a part and parcel of a lavish birthday party, sometimes they attract the attention of the public for no good reason. Let us take for instance the recent birthday bash of Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan’s daughter Ira Khan. Ira’s 25th birthday party turned all heads towards her in a jiffy. Her only fault – she wore a bikini on her birthday party. And that too in her father’s presence. Soon as the pictures broke the internet, misogynists surrounded her with questions, and social media got flooded with trolls targeting her badly. While many questioned her choice of clothing on a special day in her father’s presence, some even went to the extent of blaming and shaming her for basic moral standards of being skimpily dressed around her parents. While the entire story drew eyeballs of all and sundry, what seemed to be ignored by most is the fact that the girl has all the rights to exercise her freedom in whatever way she feels. Come on guys, she is 25!
Granted, it is not something we are very fond of seeing on our social media. It is also certainly not everyone’s cup of tea, but does that give us the right to barge into her personal space and call her unethical or immoral? After all, if her father doesn’t have a problem with her donning a bikini, why should we? Who are we to stop her choice of ringing into her mid-20s with a pool themed party? And certainly, if it’s a pool themed party – can we expect her to wear a saree or suit instead? So definitely, it all boils down to one thing – it’s her damn right to wear whatever she wants to wear. Yes, certainly we don’t have to love it, but we can save the world some peace by choosing not to comment otherwise on it.
Bollywood playback singer Sona Mohapatra, who is known for raising her voice in such controversies, came forth in support of Ira. Calling her a “free, thinking adult woman,” she was vociferously criticizing the trolls. She was not alone in this. Many fans also came in support of her, questioning the intention of the trolls behind creating a hue for such a small thing. A 25-year-old is certainly a grown woman, but in front of her father, she is still a kid. Questioning the choice of the woman here is like putting the blame on all those women who step out late at night, or wear a western outfit for being raped. This to me, is simply unacceptable.
Yes, it is up to you whether you want to appreciate her way of celebrating birthday or not. If you don’t like it, please feel free to scroll away. You can choose not to speak. There is absolutely no need to stoop low and intervene in another person’s life when all we do is call names and do moral policing. So, can we give it a break and say ‘no’ to normalizing shaming a woman, for once? or is it too much to ask?
